NOTE- THIS WAS WRITTEN IN JANUARY, BUT NOT POSTED UNTIL MONTHS LATER.
Have you ever heard the term “tennis elbow”? Well, I currently have “Christmas decorations shoulder”.
Let me exlplain.
I’m in the 40-55 demographic stage of life. Years ago, as a much younger, more active person, I engaged in a lot of activities that could result in injury or bodily harm. Rock climbing, sports, mountain biking, whatever. For the most part, other than the occasional knee surgery or broken bone, I weathered those times relatively unscathed.
Fast forward to current day. I honestly feel that if I were to attempt a somersault or cartwheel, I might die. Or at least seriously cripple myself somehow or another. Recently, I merely put all of the Christmas decorations away, stacking tub after tub in the garage. For those of you that don’t know, my wife has a decorations addiction… so when I say, ‘merely put the Christmas decorations away’, that is hundreds if not thousands of pounds of trees and nativities and candy canes and snowmen and wreaths and snowflakes… you get the idea. The next day, after piling all of the tubs and trees and EVERYTHING in the corner of my garage, LITERALLY to the ceiling, my right shoulder WOULD NOT WORK. Any movement beyond hanging at my side resulted in a four-alarm internal body explosion, screaming at me to stop doing whatever I was doing. Things you don’t even give a second thought… reaching for the remote, petting the cat, turning the doorknob… hurt. And every year that I have to take down and put away the decorations, I’m just a bit older, it’s a bit more difficult, while the decorations “inexplicably” get a little bit heavier and magically seem to multiply. Advantage, wife, and advantage Father Time. They’re ganging up on me. This yearly anomaly will now forever be referred to as “Christmas decorations shoulder”.