Who are the most notorious villains in pop culture? A good villain can define a good book or movie, overshadowing the hero or heroine. There are so many to choose from, and hopefully I didn’t forget somebody. Here’s my take at the TOP 10.
10. CLUBBER LANG (opponent of Rocky Balboa in ROCKY III) – He could make the list just on name alone. For those of you who are too young, find the movie ROCKY III somewhere out there in streaming land and thank me later. Brought to life by Mr. T himself, Clubber Lang strips Rocky Balboa of the world championship in the early stages of the movie, only to get beaten in the rematch at the end. He has the perfect, PERFECT, evil “resting villain face”, the kind that makes you want to hate him and be afraid of him. Throw in the stylish mohawk for added effect, and some nasty one-liners. Oh, and every punch thrown and landed sounds like a bomb going off. The mohawk, the one-liners, the scowl, the bombs… you can’t go wrong.
9. PENNYWISE (Clown from Stephen King’s IT) – Clowns are creepy. Clowns with sharp, pointy teeth are creepier. Clowns with sharp, pointy teeth that reside in the sewers and want to kill children… forget it. Funny story… when my brother and I were teenagers, he was reading Stephen King’s IT. He would sit on his bed reading and would get so into the book that when I would simply walk into our shared bedroom, it would startle him. Knowing this, I then later on army crawled into the bedroom while he was reading, armed with nothing but an inflated balloon. I didn’t make a sound… I simply crawled next to his bed while he was reading and released the balloon. It lazily floated to the ceiling, where it bounced up and down a few times. After a few seconds of silence, I peeked over the edge of the bed to see him locked on the balloon, eyes the size of coasters, not breathing and absolutely paralyzed. I’m pretty sure he’d argue that PENNYWISE should be higher on the list, and that I might get some votes for being on the list as well.
8. NEW YORK YANKEES – It’s my list, it’s my rules, people. There are the obvious reasons they make this list… they’ve won 27 World Series over the last century or so, they pluck every other team’s best player from them when that team can no longer afford them as if the rest of the league is their farm system, and they carry themselves with a particular arrogance that makes me cringe. But here’s another funny story… I am a lifelong Atlanta Braves fan. In 1999, the Braves and the Yankees faced off in the World Series. The Yankees were right in the middle of a dynasty… they had won 2 of the last 3, on their way to 4 out of 5 World Series at that time. My beloved Braves, despite having the best pitching staff EVER, had only won one World Series after getting there five previous times that decade. One of my buddies is a lifelong Yankees fan, as well as a gifted talker and manipulator (I’m looking at you, Bryan Gillespie). Long story short, he coaxed me into making a bet, I lost the bet, and had to go out for a night on the town wearing a dress and carrying a purse, all while donning a large sign around my neck that read ‘I LOST THE BET’. Keep in mind, dudes wearing dresses is not a big deal nowadays, but it certainly was then. Luckily this was before digital photography and cell phones were mainstream, and very little evidence exists… other than my hatred for the YANKEES.
7. JAWS – I don’t think I’ll ever swim in deep ocean water, and it’s primarily because the first couple of JAWS movies came out when I was very young and very impressionable. In fact, JAWS 3D was all the rage when I was a youngster, and sharks leaping off of the movie screen while I was wearing the cardboard 3D glasses made me scream like a girl. JAWS probably has something to do with the fact that I reside in one of the most landlocked states (Montana) and have no intention of moving. It doesn’t matter that there is a larger likelihood that you will get struck by lightning, or that fireworks kill more people annually than sharks. JAWS is out there, and he wants to use my femur as a toothpick… no thanks.
6. LEATHERFACE (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) – Not a talker by any means. He’s the reason that whenever I see a chainsaw, I want to fire it up and run in circles with it smoking and screaming above my head. Leatherface got right to the point… he wanted to chase you, carve you up with his chainsaw, and wear your face skin as a mask. No speeches, no frills… just another villain that psychologically scarred me as a child.
5. RIC FLAIR – This one comes with an asterisk and a loud, boisterous WOOOOOOOO!!! One of the most notorious wrestling villains of all time has, over time, become a beloved pop culture icon. But back in the day, “The Nature Boy” wore the villain hat better than anybody could. He’d saunter into an arena like he owned the place. And somehow, he’s gone from being hated, to the masses loving that we hate him, to the masses hating that we love him, to everybody LOVING him. Impressive. All of this while wearing a European swimsuit to work. I mean, we’re talking about the ROLEX WEARIN’, DIAMOND WEARIN’, KISS STEALIN’, WHEELIN’ DEALIN’, LIMOUSINE RIDIN’, JET FLYIN’ SON OF A GUN. Now I’m fired up… can’t help it, one more WOOOOOOOOOO!!!
4. TERMINATOR – The emotionless, time-traveling cyborg with an Austrian accent. We’re not talking about the sequel Terminators that are for the greater good… we’re talking the original, who had only one objective… to kill Sara Connor. I can’t decide who is more relentless and determined, the Terminator or #3 on this list (a little tease to keep you reading). He’ll steal some biker’s clothes, rip your address out of a phonebook, steal a grocery-getting station wagon, and FIND YOU. Definitely top-10 villain material.
3. SHERIFF BUFORD T. JUSTICE – I hope someday the word SUMBITCH becomes official, or at least the exclamation “OOOOF!!”, and Sheriff Buford T. Justice gets all the credit. When your determination and relentless nature are on par with a previously mentioned robot from the future, you’re a villain for the ages. The guy didn’t give up… he was saddled with a supporting cast of morons, literally drove his patrol car until EVERYTHING came off, yet gave the Bandit a run for his money every time. And again, if this movie reference is before your time, find and stream SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT… absolute classic.
2. HANNIBAL LECTER – It’s the posture, it’s the nose-in-the-air fashion sense, it’s the way he licks his fingers when turning pages, it’s the calm, monotone voice… right before he eats you with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Never in a hurry, he can be in a cell, shackled, tied to a dolly, and he’ll still find a way to GET IN YOUR HEAD, and eventually serve you for dinner. Doesn’t get more villain-esque than that.
1. DARTH VADER – He made wearing all black cool. The booming voice, the raspy breathing, the unrealistically high expectations placed on his employees (I hope the insurance benefits were good for surviving family members)… and just the name DARTH VADER. AND, he can force choke people from across the room. But this is REALLY important… if we as a society eventually create the technology or discover the science to “force choke” people, we have to make sure that my wife never finds out… that would NOT end well for me.